There is something burning inside of me and it wants to come out.

It's activating my hunger for what’s authentic, what’s real, and what’s aligned with my personal truth....

Here's the thing... I don't know exactly WHAT is trying to come out of me yet.  It's some new way of being that feels mysterious and scary.

But what I DO know, is that the way I've been doing things in my business ISN'T working any longer... it's making my skin crawl and it's not serving me... or my business... any longer.

You see, in talking with my entrepreneurial #wifey for like the 100th time about a feeling inside... a feeling of lack/scarcity that's accompanied by a big pile of inner PRESSURE... I had a mini-melt down.

You know how we teach what we most need to learn?  Well, I teach individuals how to live in an integrated way.  A way that's deeply aligned with their core values and personal truth. There inner knowing. A way where they are walking their talk.

And in many areas of my life, it's evident to me that I HAVE that alignment, because I FEEL it in my bones.

Not always true with my business, however.  A new layer is ready for integration, and I'm saying... YES PLEASE!

Since Day 1 of my journey into the entrepreneurial life I've been deeply committed to growing my business in ALIGNMENT with my core values.  To me, that looks like a lot of deep inner listening and following my soul knowings. It looks like true service from the heart.  Service that does not come at the expense of my own well being and happiness.

I know deep down in my heart that the WAY I run my business is more important than the RESULTS my business generates.  I know this... but LIVING it in an integrated way??

Easier said than done, my friend.

Here are the facts.  Leaving my cushy corporate job to invest in a four year (very expensive) training while starting my new business left some serious financial strains on me.

How perfect, right? A grand-ole challenge to see if I can really WALK my talk...

With this financial strain and the complete newness of being a highly-trained healer AND an entrepreneur, I've had steep learning curves.  It's left me feeling overwhelm, confusion... and many times terror.

I'm just trying to start and grow a successful business that’s an integrated expression of my soul... No biggie, right?

So... like I said... I'm getting to teach what I need to learn, practice what I preach and get challenged in some very uncomfortable ways.

I've made incredible headway in my work.  I think back to where I started.  I remember not knowing what energy healing was. Intuition was a complete mystery to me. Working with clients brought up all sorts of crazy self-doubt and newbie learning curves around how/what to charge, how to explain what I did or how I could help.  I struggled to gracefully end my client sessions on time.  I had fear that I wouldn't be able to see my clients through some of the scary emotional places they were navigating.

Luckily -  or should I say with a lot of support and experience - those are challenges of the past!

After working with hundreds of clients, I feel a confidence in my level of mastery in my healing skills.  I have learned that I have what it takes to stay fully present to whatever my client is going through.  I've created healthy boundaries and the business systems that allow me to serve in integrity.

Yet even with all of this growth, I'm still hitting up against this crazy internal PRESSURE for my business to be hitting external markers of success.  And this crazy place of PRESSURE says that the way I'll know I'm successful is when my REVENUE is at a certain place.

There is a story running in my subconscious that until I hit some level of financial security through my biz... I'm a "failure".. and I'm not "safe" and I have to keep "pushing".  And the story says I SHOULD be doing all these activities - Fb ads, getting published, affiliate marketing... the list goes on and on!  Ahh!

It can be super painful, ya'll.  Can you relate?

My saving grace has been the commitment I set when I started this business - to not grow my business out of integrity with MYSELF.  And so I find myself at a place where the inner PRESSURE and my commitment to integrity are at odds.  Something's gotta give.   The OLD way of PUSHING myself just doesn't work any more...

So here I am... not fully seeing the mysterious new way that's trying to be birthed through me, but feeling clear it's too PAINFUL to use PRESSURE to move forward.

The truth is, we live in a culture that often REWARDS our productivity at the EXPENSE of our person. We're REWARDED for our accomplishments and results, rather than being acknowledged for WHO WE ARE BEING.

Instead of encouraging us to BE MORE... our broken model of success often encourages us to DO MORE.

So hell... my soul is saying that the old way is gone. It was there as a crutch for the last while, but it's gone. And it's time to step into the new way.


I don't know exactly.

But I do know that I want more flow, more ease, more magnetic attraction and less PUSH. So here's what I'm going to do... it's an EXPERIMENT.

Over the next SEVEN days, I am completely letting go of my old way. This means:

  • I commit to releasing ANY expectation for an external result in ALL my business activities.
  • I commit to ONLY participating in business activities that nourish me and bring me more alive. (This is a big one!)
  • I commit to giving myself AS MUCH self-care and play time as I need.
  • I commit to noticing any inner pressure, and self-will and to surrendering back into the moment.
  • I commit to being with any/all feelings that arise as I explore a new way forward.
  • I commit to staying in WONDER and CURIOSITY.
  • I commit to being gentle with myself as I face any place within me that says it's not SAFE to have this much ease and flow.

I imagine a world where every business... and every individual... gifts themselves with this level of integration.  where they are honoring themselves in deep and meaningful ways.

What would happen with this level of love and integration?  Can you imagine a world where our livelihoods are the reflection of our core essence?   All I can picture is a world free of war & corruption.  A world where each individual is honored for their unique contribution.

Deep in my heart I believe that a new way MUST emerge in order for us to truly have the integration of our core essence/gifts AND our livelihood.

You are welcome to join me in this experiment.  Either as an active participant OR as a cheerleader & witness.  (I sure can use all the support!)

I will report on my experience right here on my blog.  (Any good experiment has measurements, right?)  I'll keep you posted on:

  • My emotional experience
  • My physical energy
  • Changes in my biz financials
  • Differences in my behavior that I'm aware of

I have no idea what's going to happen, but what I do know is this experiment challenges me to release this inner pressure and face the fear that everything will fall apart if I don't PERFORM in my old ways...

...let's see, shall we?

I invite you to notice the places you push yourself in old habitual ways that don't serve you or your life... is something ready to soften in you?

Please leave a comment below if you'd like to join me on this journey - either as a participant or a witness!  I'd love to hear your feedback, comments and own experience with the inner struggles of being an entrepreneur on a spiritual path!

See you tomorrow for Day 1!