Staying Safe with Arrogance: How To Embrace Our Imperfect Perfection

Like many of us, I am on a path of consciously becoming more of who I am and expressing it fully.  I feel strong in my commitment to see myself clearly - even the parts that aren't so pretty.

I believe this is an essential part of creating a life that's truly meaningful and fulfilling.  You see, many times the parts of ourselves we don't want to see - the parts that remain as blind spots - they are the very aspects of ourselves that are holding us back from what we truly want.

Today I saw my arrogance.  I saw how I use it to protect myself from being seen.   

Ouch.

It was a blind spot.  A place in myself that I didn't realize was so clearly visible to others.  A place in my unconscious that needed some healing.

So, let me share the story of how I found my arrogance.  My intention in sharing this with you is to support both of us in holding ourselves in deep compassion as we open to the power of our shadow side .  Here's how it all went down:

I was in my monthly mastermind group, sharing a video I'd created for use in my marketing.  Before showing it to the group I said, "I just threw this together, so please be gentle in your response because I don't want to have to redo it."

 

After watching the video, one of my colleagues said very directly - I think you do need to do it over.  I could feel a lot of emotion behind his words.  His feedback was strong.  His message was clear.  Why would I put something out to the world that I was just "throwing" together?  This was my personal message, my brand.

He was right.  Why WOULD I put something out into the world that I wasn't proud of, that I didn't give my all too?

The truth is, I didn't just throw it together.  I've spent countless hours studying video marketing, learning how to craft a message, and share my story. This particular video came out of the opportunity to have a professional videographer shoot it with high-quality gear.  I didn't have so much time to prepare, but I brought my lifetime's worth of passion for the topic and my authentic self.

Everyone else in the room thought it was pretty good!  Yes, there were some areas that could be improved, but overall it was good.

So I sat with what had happened and where his feedback was coming from.

And I got it.

I was being arrogant.  I was being arrogant by saying, "Ah, I just threw this together - no biggie!"   In that moment, I saw so clearly how difficult it would be for anyone to trust me and what I'm putting out into the world if I'm adding the disclaimer... "by the way... this isn't a big deal to me."

The truth is, I do put my heart and soul into my work.  I am deeply committed to embodying what I teach and to being a constant student of a life well lived.

So why the remark before I shared the video with my group?

As I sat with this questions, tears arose. The remark came from my fear.  I was scared.  If my group knew that I put my heart and soul into my work, they would know I am vulnerable.  They could then hurt me.  They could say something that may touch into my insecurities.  I was protecting myself.

You see, it's scary to put ourselves out there.  To fully invest our energy, heart and soul into what we're doing.  When we do, we're vulnerable.

That's what the greater part of me wants.

But this scared side was doing it's best to protect me from being seen in my imperfectness.  So I was pretending to myself (and my mastermind group), that what I had done was no big deal in an unconscious attempt to avoid them criticizing something I'm proud of.

I realize that if I'm not a bit scared when I put something out into the world - that there is probably more authenticity I can bring to it.  And that authenticity may turn some people off.  But it will speak directly to the hearts of those who need to hear it.

I apologize for my arrogance and hold myself in compassion as I realize another layer of myself.  I commit to stop pretending I'm small, when in fact I am big and mighty.

I hope that in doing so, you'll do the same.  You see, you have amazing gifts - a message for the world, talents to share and love to give.  Where is your unique flavor of blind spot holding you back from acknowledging your greatness?  Where are you protecting yourself from being seen in your gifts?

A life that's fully lived, is a life where we take off the veil and let someone else see us as we are at our core.  When we do this, we're vulnerable.  We open ourselves to all sorts of things like criticism or rejection.  Yet we also open ourselves to love.  We open ourselves to being of service.  We open ourselves to the deep fulfillment that comes from expressing who we are.

The rewards are priceless.

My videos are not perfect.  But they have my heart in them.  They come with my desire to share myself with you, and my desire to serve you.  I am not perfect.  I have typos and places I'm still learning about myself.  Yet I commit to continue to take off the veil and be seen in my humble humanity AND my greatness.

I'm on the path with you, believing in you as together we step in to our greatness.

Love,

Julie

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